Happy Independence Nigerians
Abeg help me with #5,000 Naira. I need am badly. I know say you fit give me. I go refund you next week Thursday I promise. That's how I overheard a drunkard begging an ATM machine. I know you thought I was requesting money from you & you were looking for all sorts of excuses. Hahaha look at you. You are now laughing! I like your smile. Don't laugh alone. Share it..
I came home from work.
Was tired. Sat down on the sofa. Put my feet up.
Wife brought me a glass of water. Son gave me a sheet of paper
📄English. 17 /100
Science. 35/100
Maths. 40 /100
Physics 37/100
Chemistry 42/100
I lost my temper
😤😤😤
😡😡😡"What is this?
All the time on phone and TV.
How dare you show me such marks?"
😡😡😡Wife said: "Be patient. Listen...."
I told her:
"Shut up. It's your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good."
Wife said: "Oh. Really?"
I said:
"No one in our family has performed so badly ever."
Son said:
"Dad. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this."
"This is your old school report card."
😂😂😂Etisalat should know that no matter how they try no body will call them 9mobile if am lying they should go and ask NEPA
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other woman replied, "Yes, because I married the wrong man."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Over 20 years of studying and it's only today I got to know that the word "Newspaper" was short form for "(N)orth,(E)ast, (W)est (S)outh,(P)ast (A)nd (P)resent (E)vent (R)eport".
🤗
😬😬😬🤗Just wondering, those people who got married during the period of coins, how did they spray them? Were they stoning them the coins? I have ask the gods this question but they are still silent till now....
This Ibadan Slay Mama Said The Opposite Of Transparent Is Transchildren, Please Where Can I Faint?
We know people like you(A man in USA sees a tiger attacking a girl. He fights the tiger and the tiger dies Newspapers report: "LOCAL HERO SAVES LADY FROM TIGER"*
Man says:
"I'm not American."
Report changed: "Foreign Hero Saves girl from tiger"
Man says, "Actually, I'm from Iraq." BREAKING NEWS, TERRORIST KILLS INNOCENT TIGER WHICH WAS PLAYING WITH A LITTLE GIRL.)
3 reasons to take a girl for swimming on first date
1. The water will wash away her makeup and reveal her natural face...
2. You can ascertain her true assets, no push-up bras or ass pads... And the most important
3. From the way she reacts to the water, you can tell if she has a marine spirit.
Thank me later, what are friends for
No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference btw the two words "COMPLETE" and "FINISHED". Some people say there is no difference between "COMPLETE" and "FINISHED", but there is. When you marry the right woman you are COMPLETE and when you marry the wrong woman, you are FINISHED! When your wife catches you with another woman you are COMPLETELY FINISHED and when your wife likes shopping so much you are FINISHED COMPLETELY!
Knowledge will kill me
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