A man who was tired of life decided to commit suicide under
a mango tree when his son quickly ran to him and said, "dad I just won
100million dollars.. I promise you that your funeral will be a big
celebration"!.. The dad replied" fool, untie me quickly let's go and
celebrate my resurrection
Dear guys, if you are sitting next to a beautiful lady in a
taxi and she starts smiling at you,... my brother don't smile back.. I repeat
don't smile back until she pays her taxi fare
Some girls love money so much.. One girl got me angry so I
told her go to hell.. She said I should give her transport fare.. I fainted
Bros, so you parked your Range rover in lagos and went back
to the East to look for a wife material... And you think owerri girls can't
percieve the car smell around you..well done sir!!
Dear ladies, if a guy tells you to come to his house that he
wont touch you, don't panic... My sister, just tell him to come to shoprite
that you wont pick anything!!
Igbo guys like money. See the morning greetings between one
igbo man and his fellow igbo neighbour.. "oga 'money' sir! and he replied
odogwu 'money' sir oooo!!
If you are among those men that call their wives 'Mama Ada'
but call their pastor's wives" Mummy ".. Forget it! You wont make heaven..
You called me with a private number and expect me to speak
first? We will do breathing competition
till your airtime finish
Welcome to Nigeria!! Where you will open fridge and see ice
cream container with egusi soup inside
You're 18 yrs old, dating a 62 yr old man and your update
says, "I can't wait to see my baby"... My sister, is he your baby or
your ancestor
TEACHER: Why didn't you study?
STUDENT: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking
away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left.
There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work
so there are only 263 daysleft.
We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122
days so now we're left with 141 days.
If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone,
so we are left with 126 days.
We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this
way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year.
We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that
takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days.
Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in the year; hence
you are only left with 46 days.
Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only
left with 6 days.
Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days; you're left with 3
days in the year to study!
Let's say you only go out for 2 days...You're left with 1
day.
But that 1 day is your birthday. That's why I did not study.
Teacher: Class dismissed!
Please reduce ur stress this June.
People are really overworking these days!!!
A bike man worked till 11:50pm last night, on getting home
he decided to take a bath. He suddenly ran out naked shouting................
Ghost Ghost Ghost.........
Narrating his story, he said he has poured water on his head
about 5 times & the water was not touching his head.
On hearing this, his neighbors rushed out,
only to discover that the idiot did not remove His helmet
before having his bath...
Don't laugh alone try to put a smile on someone's face
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